| Monday, October 23rd, 2006 |
| 2:08 pm |
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| Sunday, October 15th, 2006 |
| 7:36 pm |
Fracitically searching for my portfolio
The thought that it could be gone makes me sick. It's all this rush, rush and more rush and then disasters like this happen. I don't want to live like this. |
| Saturday, October 14th, 2006 |
| 10:36 pm |
Sickness time, repairing my internet and lost portfolio.
Started on wednesday, Just recording it for medial records. I can't find one of my portfolios, my best portfolio. ARGGGGHHHHHHH...these things are like photo albulms to me. I've been carrying it around and fear I lost it. It's the one I did while I was laid up with my toe injury and it has my best work in it. Got to remember where I've been before I got sick......errands...hmmmm....After waking up from two days in bed, my minds kinda a blank slate. NONNNNNOOOOOO< NOOOONOOOO...I wanna edit and color those things so bad;ly. everything else I have is over a year old. If it' s gone, I'm so gonna cry. I was so hoping that it got left here at my parents' house. Tried to have my internet repaired, failed and there will be complications. I have to order a whole new modem. Funny thing is they called to say I should go online to check the status of having my internet repaired. Which I couldn't do of course since I have no home internet. What sort of nonsense is that now?. I need a good long RP on a muck, problem is I couldn't RP my way out of a paper bag. I certainly havn't gotten better in that area, only worse. |
| Tuesday, October 10th, 2006 |
| 7:52 pm |
The antelope runs fast....
and with all four hooves off the ground..She soars. But she can't run fast enough to please. She runs too fast to do even minimual grazing. |
| Monday, October 9th, 2006 |
| 12:18 am |
Got threatened by a hunter today.
Ok heres what happened. I knew these hunters were going out at the same time as me on boats to sit on the shores and hunt ducks. We talked a bit before we went out and they seemed ok. I went along at a leisurely pace and thought I was keeping my distance from them. But I was much closer then I thought and they threatened me with the game warden and that I should leave the lake. Duh....Ok I feel stupid that I was that close that they could yell out at me, but I thought a nice please move would have been nicer before going right into threats. Anyone else here had trouble with hunters before?. Irony?...I was out wearing my PETA T-shirt. I doubt the hunters saw this before I had a lifejacket over it. In general I'm not particularly against hunting and in some ways support it. I do think it's unnneccesary to be on an omnivore diet as a person and therefore kill animals just for the pleasure of eating their flesh, however the reality is many people enjoy and eat an omnivore diet due to their belief system. Weighing this against the horrors of factory farming, I would prefer that more people went hunting to obtain meat. A wild animal shot dead imediatly is far better ethically then a tortured animal crammed into a factory farm, suffering from inhumane transport methods, stockyards and most likley killed in a cruel mannor. Futhermore, it has to be much healther for a person on an omnivore diet to consume this flesh then the antibotic ladden crap that most grocery stores sell. Irony is, I used to hate hunting. I mean they are out killing deer for SPORT...How awful. DID I mention I was eating meat at the time, most likley from a factory farm. Anyhow, before this I had a wonderful time, ambeling along slowly eating a subway sandwhich and taking in the tree reflections. I just lost myself for a while. Wondered why I spend most of my time cleaning my appartment when nobody gives a damn anyways and whatever I do is called filthy anyways. And the floors already dirty again too. It takes four- six hours to clean. Why am I not a cleaner person?...because it takes a lot of time. I'm asked why is it so dirty?. I dunno. I walk there and when I keep cleaning until it's clean and it takes that long, unless I really want it very clean then it'll pretty much all day, which I hardly ever clean so throughly. I could say clean and then say it's enough cleaning and quit but it doesn't work that way. Then it'll still be dirty. Or I could clean how I usually do by cleaning over each time the towels I use to dry the floor with come back dirty. Ideally I sweep, then I mop and after the floor is clean, I dry the floor with a towel. But now the towel comes back filthy, so I clean the floor again becuase I'm assuming there's still leftover dirt. I can't reason with dirt or talk philosohy about how the mopping process should have removedx it all. If it's there, it's there and the floor needed to be cleaned again. Usually after three or four times the drying towels start coming back much cleaner. Now when I want to go futher...then I add more steps. First off, I clean repeatly until the drying towels come back clean, then I do the stain removal techniques which involve treating every individual vinyl tile with oxygen activated stain removed which removes even more dirt/stains left behind by normal cleaning. Since this is the all day method, obviously I hardly ever clean my floor like this. |
| Saturday, October 7th, 2006 |
| 10:36 pm |
otso cleaning.
I cleaned so hard I only slept one hour last night. And yet when the parents arrive they say filthy everything. I mean how can my floor be filthy if I clean it from morning til nightz?. Neightbor cat is visiting, not the same usual cat who used to visit. Varia, she loves to perch on my chair and watch my mice. The mice don't seem bothered and keep grooming or go to sleep. I mean if the mice looked frigthened I'd shoo away the cat but as is, it's an amusing scene. I cleaned out my fridge today, high time for that. Usual the part of the cleaning I run out of time for. Anyways, I determined that around 75 percent of my inventory is baking products in there. My inspiration to bake was brought out. Unfortunatly there's an upcoming inspection so the last thing I can do is bake ( and make a mess!). Hopefully I won't get evicted and I can bake a cake. It's little but maybe this is the special project I'm seeking to undo some of my boring dull life. |
| Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 |
| 8:55 pm |
Had a dream about a puppy.
These people were driving away and they ran over their own puppy. I called for them to stop but they ignored me and kept driving. So I ran out in my bath robe and grabbed this wounded puppy. The puppy was curled up writhing in pain. I drove the wounded puppy to a vets and then to emergency care. I wasn't taken seriously at the vets because I was in a bath robe. I tried to explain that in an emergency you don't think about getting dressed, you just respond to the emergency. Never the less I think they managed to save the puppy by the end of the dream. |
| 8:20 pm |
No air conditioner removal today...
It rained.Not good. It has to be removed by landlords ryules and I'll start getting fined. Huzzah.Complications incliude wetather and that I need to get someone to hold it from the utside. Rain interferred with the pennysavers as well. Praying for a month less filled with bleeding and pain here. Will be working up to applying for jobs again if things go well. |
| Monday, October 2nd, 2006 |
| 4:10 pm |
Went to a doc today
She wasn't sex obbcessed..good good. I didn't get too many answers. I got a recomendation to try blue green algae for mirconutrients and yeast for my metabolism related b vitamin thing. Bad news...I'm wasting away again. Which means I need time consuming weight gaining diets. I wish I could just eat normal. I made some housecleaning progress but too little and too late. Naturally this will conflict with my weight gaining diet. |
| Saturday, September 30th, 2006 |
| 2:37 pm |
Had another family fight yesterday.
Bot long, I drove off. Of xourse it was over money again. I said why don't I get a student loan so I can live on it untill I am making a salary with massage and I am tolde no because I'll be in debt forever. I make a suggestion for the financail problems and whatever I say isn't good enough. If I spend all my time trying to raise money, then I have to drop out of the massage program because that would involve heavy jobbing and selling attempts. |
| Wednesday, September 27th, 2006 |
| 5:18 pm |
Bad news, the ritten died of respitory failuyre
Probably brought on by stress....sheeh...I just can't save anything unless there's an unwanted homeless animal and then then I can't do much. A dam shame the petshop was closed that day as I bet if the ritten was tucked in with a litter, things would have gone better. I'm feeling sad because I couldn't save the ritten and I thought a two weeks old ritten could survive on formula. |
| Monday, September 25th, 2006 |
| 7:02 pm |
I got an orphan baby rat/ritten today.
I had biked to the thrift store and I was hearing A MOUSE!. I went back to listen in and soon found out a nest had found. Someone was saying put it outside, another was saying, it's too cold and then the first replied, it can't stay in here. I went to check and then offered to take the mouse in question. When I saw the animal, I guessed I was looking at a two week old ritten. Fuzzie with ears formed but eyes still closed. They gave me the rat in a plastic container still in insolation. So I had the ritten...now I decied the best thing would be a nursing rat. I checked the petshop, closed. I called the feedstore and they were going to get back to me. I called two vets and a friend. I eventually ended up just driving out to the feedstore and getting some formula. I think the ritten could live if I do it right. While I was there I got some fresh soil to give my mice who really need their tank cleaned....I was going to do that this morning but then this came up. |
| Sunday, September 24th, 2006 |
| 6:45 pm |
Dealing with a threat
Well I was up all night because I couldn't sleep. Fine and dandy way to deal with a threat eh?...I had a migraine headache all night and well into the next day. Not really but it was a natural reaction. I need something positive and uplifting in my life. Usually that'd be a new job but I can't currently work and my massage career is still monthes away and I'm struggling with meeting the requirments for that. Everything in my life draws energy except sleeping, which I do far too much of. |
| Saturday, September 23rd, 2006 |
| 10:36 pm |
This just in....
Ok I didn't want to do another one of those boring bleeding posts but I might be evicted for bleeding leaking on the floor.I usually lie down on plastic because I want to mimimize the cleaning up but I have to get up to ummm go and answer the phone. They called the bleeding a bio hazard. Of course it's a bio hazard...to me because it drains my body of vital nutrition it needs to function properly. Hmmm but I've never seen bleeding as a something to be evicted for. I just want to sit in a corner and cry now I suppose because I feel like I'm being punished for an attack on me which I have no control over. Naturally I was just about to drive home and now I've been sitting here for over an hour with a migraine headache. |
| 10:36 pm |
This just in....
Ok I didn't want to do another one of those boring bleeding posts but I might be evicted for bleeding leaking on the floor.I usually lie down on plastic because I want to mimimize the cleaning up but I have to get up to ummm go and answer the phone. They called the bleeding a bio hazard. Of course it's a bio hazard...to me because it drains my body of vital nutrition it needs to function properly. Hmmm but I've never seen bleeding as a something to be evicted for. I just want to sit in a corner and cry now I suppose because I feel like I'm being punished for an attack on me which I have no control over. |
| 7:41 pm |
This goes on and on...
So I hear in the background as I write this. Hmmm. Not my life. Had another bleeding and belly pain episode. Another week mostly in bed. Meh...won't go into detai on that other then it wastes time and energy. Caught the last day at Rite Aid and picked up some great deals from their skimpy sale. Lets see, I got some hair conditioner treatment stuff, some iron supplements and some lead for drawing pencils. Naturally it was .7 when I prefer .5 but at 90 percent off, you can't go wrong with that. I'll be using the .7 for writing. I got some .5 from their earlier sale so I have a stash of it. As soon as I clean all the stray blood off the floor and it's not the weekend, I get my internet repaired. My rent is supposed to be raised. Unemployment payments to remain the same so I dunno what I'll do about that. I still have another two semesters to go with massage before I can start making money with it and I can't easily work or get an outside job with my massage schedule, which when practiced right and every day takes a lot of my energy. Which means I need more food. More food means more time spent eating again. |
| Sunday, September 17th, 2006 |
| 8:00 pm |
Still reeling from those antibotics.
Harsh stuff. I guess it was better then having a toe amputated. Ate a whole pack of soy yoghurts which is supposed to counteract some of the side effects of the antibotics but hasn't kicked in yet I guess. I notice LJ has a new look but I guess anyone who has logged in to read this has already noticed this. |
| Wednesday, September 13th, 2006 |
| 6:43 pm |
Havn't taken my antibotics yet today and feelingh good.
One more day left after this. Been having those writing urges again. Yeah _thoese_ things. I really need to clean so I can get my internet repaired. I can't believe I havn't had my internet since May and of course no mucking what so ever. I'm serious about my career and working on it and lately I would feel no remorse turning on some muck and rping. Of course I'm guessing I'll probably just sit there and chat because the career drive does a number on my playfullness and rping ability, the latter which was already underdeveloped. |
| Tuesday, September 12th, 2006 |
| 9:20 pm |
Massage practice....
Did a long one today. And then one and half hours of wait to use the internet. Two more days of antibotics left. |
| Monday, September 11th, 2006 |
| 4:06 pm |
Hope to bw done with the antibotics soon
I dreadf taking the pills because of the intense nasua they cause. I just got called, five min to write an antry and then run, run run. Can't think of anything more to write so I think I'll just check the veggieboards. |
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